Ralph Waldo Emerson W.E.B Du Bois Theodore Dreiser Fredrick Douglass John Dos Passos Stephen Crane James Fenimore Cooper Kate Chopin Charles W. Chesnutt Raymond Chandler Willa Cather Paul Bowles
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Various authors - The 50 Funniest American Writers*: An Anthology of Humor from Mark Twain to The Onion

The 50 Funniest American Writers*: An Anthology of Humor from Mark Twain to The Onion

* According to Andy Borowitz

“Does being funny get you girls?”: A message from Andy Borowitz
Overview  |  Table of Contents

Introduction, Andy Borowitz

Mark Twain
    A Presidential Candidate
George Ade
    The Lecture Tickets That Were Bought but Never Used
O. Henry
    The Ransom of Red Chief
Sinclair Lewis
    from Babbitt
Anita Loos
    from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Ring Lardner
    On Conversation
H. L. Mencken
    Imperial Purple
James Thurber
    More Alarms at Night
Dorothy Parker
    The Waltz
S. J. Perelman
    Farewell, My Lovely Appetizer
Langston Hughes
    Simple Prays a Prayer
Frank Sullivan
    The Night the Old Nostalgia Burned Down
E. B. White
    Across the Street and into the Grill
Peter De Vries
    The House of Mirth
Terry Southern
    from The Magic Christian
Lenny Bruce
    from How to Talk Dirty and Influence People
Tom Wolfe
    The Secret Vice
Jean Shepherd
    The Counterfeit Secret Circle Member Gets the Message, or The Asp Strikes Again
Hunter S. Thompson
    The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved
Woody Allen
    A Look at Organized Crime
Bruce Jay Friedman
    The Tax Man
Philip Roth
    Letters to Einstein
Nora Ephron
    A Few Words about Breasts
Henry Beard, Michael O’Donoghue, George W. S. Trow
    Our White Heritage
Fran Lebowitz
    Better Read Than Dead: A Revised Opinion
Charles Portis
    Your Action Line
Donald Barthelme
    In the Morning Post
Veronica Geng
    Curb Carter Policy Discord Effort Threat
John Hughes
    Vacation ’58
Mark O’Donnell
    The Laws of Cartoon Motion
Garrison Keillor
    The Tip-Top Club
Bruce McCall
    Rolled in Rare Bohemian Onyx, Then Vulcanized by Hand
Molly Ivins
    Tough as Bob War and Other Stuff
Calvin Trillin
Dave Barry
    Tips for Women: How to Have a Relationship with a Guy
The Onion
    Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia
Susan Orlean
    Shiftless Little Loafers
Roy Blount Jr.
    Gothic Baseball
George Carlin
    If I Were in Charge of the Networks
Ian Frazier
    Laws Concerning Food and Drink; Household Principles; Lamentations of the Father
David Rakoff
    The Writer’s Life
Bernie Mac
    from I Ain’t Scared of You
David Sedaris
    Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie?
Wanda Sykes
    It’s So Hard
Jack Handey
    What I’d Say to the Martians
David Owen
    Your Three Wishes: F.A.Q.
George Saunders
    Ask the Optimist!
Jenny Allen
Sloane Crosley
    The Pony Problem
Larry Wilmore
    If Not an Apology, at Least a “My Bad”

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